I have a love-hate relationship with permanent markers. I love those little sharpies and how great they are for labeling my boys’ jackets and coats. I love the big ol’ honkin’ ones that I use to write Will’s name on the outside of his snack bag. I love to doodle with them, too. I really used to like those big markers that would smell like different kinds of fruit. Even though our art teacher in school would tell us not to sniff them, the multi-colored rings around my nostrils would give me away as a “marker sniffer.”
However, I also hate permanent markers with a passion. I didn’t have this much hatred toward an inanimate object as I do now….until I had children. Permanent markers are not safe in the hands of a child. This is pretty obvious, right? Well, let’s just say that my boys can find a permanent marker that has been meticulously hidden better than a police dog can find contraband at the airport. Let me explain…
Today I found my baby, George, squealing with delight as he was but inches from my white kitchen cabinet.
Holding a huge black permanent marker.
With the top off.
It was like I was running in slow motion toward my child…..Nooooooo!!!!!!!! Stooooopppppp!!!!!!!!!!! Drop the marker!
George dropped the marker. As he turned to face me, I noticed a large black streak down one side of his face. He had “painted” himself with the marker. UGH. This little incident brought me back to my first year with Will. Will also enjoyed some time with a permanent marker…when he decided to paint his “private parts.”
I’ll never forget when Will was about George’s age and he found a black magic marker in my “stationery drawer.” I thought my markers were safe in this little drawer along with my calligraphy pens, personalized stationery, and stamps. I was sadly mistaken.
I don’t know when or how he found the marker. I only know that my marker was missing. I shrugged it off and thought I may have left it in a purse or a bookbag. Later that afternoon….while changing Will’s diaper….I thought I was going to pass out. I looked down into my son’s diaper to find that he was covered in black streaks from his lower belly to his….Well, let’s just say that his “private part” was completely black. Will jumped up and begin to shout while pointing at his “privates” and laughing, “BWACK!!!!!!”
I thought I would faint.
I freaked out. What would cause such streaking? (the urine in his diaper caused the ink to fan out and look like raised veins) Oh my Dear Lord! Should I rush my baby to the doctor? Was this some rare blood disease? I immediately called the pediatrician’s office and waited for the nurse to begin her litany of questions.
Just then, Will walked into the kitchen holding …the black permanent marker…and began to demonstrate what he had done earlier….before sticking the thing in his mouth…and proceeded to giggle.
I grabbed that marker and threw it in the trash. Will began to scream like a toddler who’s had his lollipop taken away. I apologized to the nurse who endured my hysteria and told her about the marker. She laughed. I’m glad someone could laugh. Later, I hid all of my permanent markers. Over time, I think I’ve become too lax. I’ve stopped hiding stuff. Today was a reminder that I’ve got to hide things again…things like markers.
Anyway, I’ve decided that along with my Ginsu knives, the permanent markers have their own “special place”….high up…away from little fingers. So far, the “special place” is a cupboard above the refrigerator that holds all of the things that my boys find appealing…and that cause trouble…like knives, rubber bands, twine, rope, sharp scissors, balloons, kitchen gloves (don’t ask) and now….permanent markers.
OMG that was laugh out loud hilarious, a little boy & a black marker. Who knew a little boy with anything would be fascinated by whats in his diaper!?
and how frightening for you.
love, Anne
Hilarious story! Ps…I also LOVE those fruit smelling markers…I haven’t seen one of those since grade school. I need to get some!